Light

Sunset has transpired, and the nights breath gently sighs, as the moon and stars glow, and sparkle, in black skies.

Where the eagles soar high, threw bright blue skies, and where the sunshine has reborn, into a new day, Beyond the sunset, Beyond this night, without regret, its me seeking new light.

To someone special..

I used to think about the times we tried to get it right, without you all those sleepless nights, we were so good we were so tight.  Everyday i made myself afraid to say the things that burn a hole in my mind,just thinking the price ill pay to say goodbye. 

Like walking a hundred shoeless miles, with you as a distant thought in my memory, now your someone elses fond testimony.

With you the desert brought water, endless tables of lobster, love with out bothers, you could have been a father with a lovely son or daughter. once you gave me seeds to grow my own flowers, your a common drugim addicted to, the feeling of you, quit cold turkey, made to change the way i look at life without you.

Its pitiful agonizing and painful, but i can move on a be thankful, to have been yours and found in love its ok to be playful.  You used to sell guns, for drugs, to sell to  anyone, little kids who forgot to live and the mother that for drugs anything she would give. countless lies more goodbyes, endless party nights made you a powerful guy, but you changed your life put all that behind.

Now the thought of you makes me sick, for the record it wasn't the sex it was shit, try growing a dick you son of a bitch.  Too bad you brought out the best in me, gave me the need to be the only girl in your dreams, little did i know this would be a nightmare, everything you ever said with no care.  

its fare to say i have paid the price of a willing life, forced to move on, my love could never go on, and maybe never loved one, but i take this day as i triumph over you and compel those around you to be better then you.  live your life and be happy with her, she's better then me? must be pure, has that cure for your soul, she as i have will pay the toll, for loving you is too hard to control, im over and done guess you had your fun, its time to dry the tears i have cried andmore then ever get on with my life ...goodbye.

-Samantha

Reality more and more

On the other side of the glass i don't recognize the face staring back at me, with wilted eyes shes so sad, but to the people walking past, shes just a pretty face and a smile that she makes last..

But if they only knew the pain that grew..

You cant see threw the glass, just like others that shall pass, because things so true to you are blinding threw and threw.

It seems some time goes by, this girl i see thought to cry, but she held her tears back, and put on her smile she makes last. But if they only knew the pain that grew.

Suddenly i see opening doors, the wind on my face as the winter warms, child's laughter and mothers scorns, reality more and more.  I say to the girl who enters the bus, i as many other occupy,  you can sit here, last seat available, reality more and more, but to the people present and past, shes just a pretty face and a smile she forces to last.

I take my seat, and in ways thank myself, one seat available, reality more and more, i felt the need to cry, but i held back my tears and put on my smile i so effortlessly make last.  but if they only knew the pain in me that grew, i see opening doors, time to go home, reality more and more.

-Samantha

Uninvited

The feelings come uninvited, like the child in the candy store so undecided, over excited at the many possibilities, wish i could have said stay, just one more day, as i ponder why, decide to pray, just this one time for you to be mine.

Perfect isn't real, Ive searched far and wide, facing the highest of all tides, and came up empty, confused and desire less, trying harder then ever before not to become careless, in turn left defenseless.

Ive tried so many times, to reveal the truest of me, i did my best to hide the pain and tear that i have shed, wish it would subside these feelings that i have once bled.

I wish to be the girl of your dreams, but you believe that girl isn't me, one day you will see that its me and always will be,begging for you to see me who i truly am, a girl who would do anything for you a special man.

Freedom is a wish..

Somewhere in the world someone is making a wish, to be freed, have something to eat or 

just to rise from there knees, some for selfish, jealous needs,

some wish for health, prosperity and wealth, it all seems new to me..

As her wings flourish the flames of hope are extinguished, leaving no room for life's light to be distinguished.

We think we're growing stronger, but with each step the nights have grown longer.

We're blinding slipping from grace, as we spit in God's face. Don't worry this is just a bad dream..this can't really be me.

Somewhere in the world someone is making a wish,of selflessness, caring and compassion, to help someone else who's wishes weren't answered, replacing hatred with passion.

Tonight as I lay alone, I will dream, of freedom from this cage I allow to be captive in, I wish that I am granted strength, and courage lord, so i can overcome this final task, to unveil and scrape away this faceless mask, so i can see clearly and breath deeply into life's adventures, for that i will forever be remembered, its true..freedom is a wish.

Samantha

Nobody's Daughter

My eyes are my own, all i have seen, the blackest skies beneath, the never ending star filled nights seem to last forever, in contempt i keep myself, building a shelf that will someday hold my life. 

I have paced these aisles, have counted the miles, but just wanted to be a child. Shoudnt have had to be the mothers mother, playing the father and wishing for an older brother, waiting for hours sometimes days, sitting there i preyed for the day the happiness was here to stay.

She talks to anyone, in her mind one day they would be a friend, doesn't see that they all want out and a quick in. no strings attached she wont be there last, just wanted love, never judges by a jury and giving all these worries that scurry back and forth through the mind, the type, the kind, that make her want to burn the mother fuckers down for stealing her precious time.

You cant make her, break her because shes free, she wont spend another minute on her knees begging for you to forgive her, its time she makes you quiver, make you see how hard it is to live here, in this world as hard as it is just to live.

In a place that never feels like home, nothing owned, just owed and told to go on everyday and pretend everything is ok, learning to let go of the past, that is still behind me and everyday comes back, i was the little girl who held the world in my hands, 

nobody's daughter.

A Beautiful Maze.

      Just look at what life's become; like a gun, eight rounds in the ground and still can't be found.  I spend my time coming up with rhymes in my mind, me pen never dies, all these words are my own,and possibly all i have ever known.  Coffee and cigarettes are devilishly good regrets that's essential to a poet. The pen takes me away from the stress of the day, to a place i can only go and none  will never ever know the sky isn't actually blue,this is true, it is black without an end, in space where time began. 

      I will blindly swallow a brilliance unknown, to those who casually ignore I will provide a dark but wonderful truth. ignitions hitting and missing, when does the sun shine, why are we so blind. I am the type, the quiet kind. unveil the cause and effect, who will they choose next to infect, with their minds implanting lies, when sympathy cries,  a truth with test and desires, there's something we all admire, in the midst we set a fire inside the heart, rip and tear it apart, set ablaze, a conscious mind what a beautiful maze.

  -  Samantha Johnson