Me.

My photo
Ontario, Canada
The silence is deadly, head first into assembly, trying to remember the fondest of memories, its killing me to see the worlds hate and dis-pare; no one watching that cares, just a lost soul without any self control. saving the heart for something still unknown, drifting within the cold winters snow. see the world from the view of my very own eyes, saving someone else from there terrible lives, crying in the night, from the pasts slowly dimming light, why stop now and give up the fight of my life, keeping my chin up, at the end of the tunnel is my bright light, the darkness won't consume me, i shine the brightest within the darkened walls; of contempt i shy away from the reality as i build my staircase, hoping Im not missing the top grade nails and essential glue that complete it..my life.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

A king with no crown.



I miss you almost every waking moment I won't deny, I wish you were closer, because I miss you ever so dearly and dangerously inside.
The air thick and hot without a glimpse of you near, not a note or sign of you to appear. 
Brisk is the mornings breath, sighing and freezing pulling you west, away from my nest, in my heart is a place for you beneath my breast. A living proof of patience, maybe lust, but all truth, you are the very tree to my roots. A perfect complex of smart and respect, with strength and wisdom non the less.
A desire of a thousand beings, a desert with one fountain, your the X on a treasure map, a beautiful human being that's a fact. 
A moment with you, one of a thousand precious breaths I take, with you there's no telling what the day could bring, your a beautiful individual out of a hundred million beings.
Your without the innocence of a child, weird and a little wild.
Just a bit like a king with no people or throne, no crown or kingdom to call your own.
 With your heart you acquire all that is great, maybe it was by mistake, but it could be one of fate.
It's true what goes up will most likely come down, but how could you fall. if your without kingdom or crown.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Untitled.

I leave every single time, regretfully allowing fear to lead a part of my life, one that should be explored without fear,and with curiosity, passion, excitement and mystery, I leave every single time with one thing on my mind, usually its racing, with questions, answers, riddles and puzzles I continually solve in a second, but I'm constantly running on the same track, at the same speed, and I'm finding its not quite working out for me. I leave every single time wishing I had the courage to speak the words that are scrambled about. Is it the timing, place or because I'm a scared little girl in a confident woman's body, I encourage others to do something which I have not mastered myself, I'm a hypocrite. We are hypocrites in a concrete jungle, etching our feelings into stone in turn allowing them to be forgotten, its easier to be cold then to feel anything at all, when we could act so big, why put ourselves at the mercy of looking so small. Ill paint on my makeup, jump into a pool of costumes, and dance in a summers eve, after all life is better, when its make believe.
I promised myself to be true to that only of myself, my intuition at a high, I still let fear be the one to steer, its such a shame, how I'm loosing at my own game.

Time.

Our mind is our center, it controls every part of us. My mind is saying that I shouldn't let someone in, I've been trained and become accustomed to automatically assume that the other is going to hurt me or won't want to be with me. Its fare to say that I may think a little too much, and over analyze some minor details, but I believe they are natural human in stinks, to protect yourself, I'd like to think I'm doing so.
Love has conquered many hard tasks, some impossible to overcome by oneself. We gain victory by multiplying our numbers, but rarely see the beauty in just one other.
Time is what we have, so to say, but if time were to become currency, time will be the only thing we would desire, admire, and even kill for.
Time should be used wisely, and with conscious effort to fully be alive with it.
When I'm with him, my time feels as if it will last forever or longer if possible. When I'm with him I feel as though I need not think of any other. Simply all I ever need is wrapped up in this beautiful person, who's only task is to make me happy, and give me all the time in the world.

Last goodbye.

Torn from a world of passive truth, designed specially for failure and self contempt.
You tore apart the best of me, my soul is bruised, my days darkened by your presence.

Precious time wasted on your lies, in my despair. You skinned me of my innocence, scorned me for my happiness,
 but you wont break me down, its has taken me higher off the ground.
 Its your fault, im super nova bound.
The heat, a self induced fiery tomb i became content in.  A deep pool of boiling thoughts bound to erupt at any givin point. Like a volcano, building up till its too much to control.
 When the time to let go arises, theres panic and confusion, no one could have predicted the power of this exceptional illusion.
As the waters run dry, the nutrition of our plantations withered and forgotten.
Dont assume its powerful detail, water will rain from the sky, but its the fire that's first to arrive.
Ill send a thank you to the God's for sending me your way. I hate you and loath you every single day.
 The fire still burns, but its me who's had a lesson here to learn.
 If i has to be the one who is crucified, i wish you send me there with open eyes, that way ill sacrifice, so not to hear those sad lonely cries.
 Its time to move on, at least ive learned a lesson or two. For me, its my own truth.
 Alas alone in the night, breathing for the first time, this is where we say goodbye,
 its fare to say you became that guy.
The only one who tried to change me and make me your idea of right.
This is my last goodbye.

Its just who i am.

'm at peace with the world I live in, at peace with how I was brought up in it. If giving another life, I would pass it up in a minute. There was talk I'd be just like you, a life made for those living in a disastrous zoo. I held on to a passion, my grasp only grew with less compassion. That night with the Devil was the first of many selfish transactions. Through the years my only option was to keep walking, with my head held high. My only destination was the clouds, then the sky. To set oneself free was once a wish, a fantasy. Chased a dream till woken up, realizing its all make believe. In real life they wash off the makeup, put away costumes; that so effortlessly conceal their demise. Some people smile, but too many cry. Its like trying on feeling as if shopping for shoes in a store. Always expecting nothing, but wanting more. I've never taken the good with the bad. Why should I suffer from another s hands. I may be stubborn, a little crazy, but at least I can say that I am the one who made me. I don't care what people say, I don't consume myself with their words; I trust myself, not what they want to make of me, I control my destiny, and I'm the only one who will make the best of me. - forgive all but never forget, after all memories are there for a reason. I will carry on with happiness heart and soul. I will not worry, because I'm the one in control. This paper and this pen, who are you to judge, because this is all that I am.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Little Witch.

  You start by saying I'm clinacally insane, but baby were one in the same. Fire consumes our dark and lonely lives, stone cold, our hearts coffin, as it lay there getting old. In a deep sea of regret we sail to the end. Not to mend, were taking our sails all the way to the very edge. As bullets rain from the sky, their only destination, these blood filled eyes. I'd rather smile then love with my disguise, I'm sorry your just not my Mr. Right.
     
Well I'm sorry, but your perfect misses wrong, I've known it all along, you were a perfect mystake right from the start, somehow you cast a memorable spell, a talented little witch with the heart of a devil bitch. Your claws stab at my chest, you suck the life out of me. You've left me with this disease, you've stained me the blackest of black. I'm afraid its because of you that I wont go back.
    
 Im your desease, you cant get rid of me, I've tainted you, broke you and made you mine. I've ripped out your heart and posted it upon a stake. So now you see me, your perfect little mystake. I fell out of love just as fast as you made me fall from the sky, so I went with the next guy. It was all part of my little game, to break your heart and make you feel my pain.
   
 Your on to the next, I can honestly say, the day you  left, was the very day, I was blessed by the heavens, for sending you to hell. where your soul deserves to sit, rot and be forgotten, in a dark and lonely way. I hope it terrifies you day to day, hope its never ending, so that it is you that finally feels my pain.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Goodbye.

You think im stupid, little did you know i was born to be ruthless,
I know my heart, i know where the truth is, get over yourself, 

This isnt it, i have more to say...wait why waste my precious time with these silly heartbreak rhymes, 

Not worth the paper i scribble the hatred on, not worth the eyes ive cast upon you, time i find someone who is better,

Not going to be hard to find someone new, someone different, stronger and more of a man then you.

You make me sick, im done with this shit, its time i dry the tears i have cried and more then ever get on with my life...goodbye.